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i think my biggest problem is that i feel consistantly unprepared. whatever it is that i attempt, i think i construct some kind of astronomical object that staggers its way in my path. nothing really big, but i do indeed tend to let it oppose me. i know that im all set to go, but some odd feeling keeps holding me back. i could be scared, intimidated, afraid of committing to a final decision; but sometimes i know i need a push. a swift shove in a general direction somewhere; whether to oppose or accept, it doesnt matter so long as i take a step i suppose. im beggining to see that sometimes i just need to be a little risky. do some business. just take some kind of action. you cant stay idle and expect someone to guide you along, your old enough now right? but before we go too into this, please keep in mind children that this is not school, this is not work, this is not some stupid shit that you commonly bitch about. its just general things. any decision is met with a procrastination of doubting myself. i think i just like to be absolutely sure before going in; im no risk taker like before. ill tell you what though, my next endeaver, im sure its right. i believe it with every fiber inside. (but why am i still waiting for a go-ahead?) it will happen, ill make sure of it, but lord only knows when. ::: posted by Eddie at 2:50 AM |
