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"heres to you..." his manless lush ranting came to a halt; pondering and questioning the next move. his tongue wiggled in his mouth; teeth biting the sides of his mouth. (i love you - dont say that - i want to hold you so close - not that either - im sorry - no no, said it before - i know...) "this decision has brought me greif, but in order for us all to be happy, so you must as well. i will concur to your notion, for i may not have your full attention, but i shall fight back each and every idea i have the best i can for as long as it can take it. for i am not immune to you, and it will be very difficult. although you may not see it, im a patient man, and i will wait." he stopped. he was on a roll yet, wondering if he had his next phrase, he noticed one thing. (am i the only one wanting?) some (most) will think me foolish. but i think a fool is one to give up. let me apologize once again, for im sure i cause you too mich greif, and you dont deserve to feel down. shh be still child, rest in my arms. ::: posted by Eddie at 3:11 AM the red lights top one blinks my observations help me avert my eyes. help me? that shouldbt be the case. casting my eyes around i just find it easier to talk i guess. im too fidgity. "bruce" still, my eyes hunt for distractions. i stare at you staring at me and i cant help but to want to kiss you - look away. i feel stupid. what am i tryin to accomplish? why am i striving for answers so bad? why is this changing? why do i get the feeling that i am making progress? im not really am i? i keep doubting myself a lot, i hate it. im rambling. you know how i feel, please dont read to into this. im ranting. your mind is set, so why am i trying? is that how it really is? if it is, then why are you having trouble? if you are really wanting to commit to this decision, then why is it so hard for you? because just like your believes, and how you feel towards me, they are both one in the same, feelings from within. sorry, thats not right of me to say. i feel like an ass now. gah - im just so confused, yet willing to ride this one through. i think its possible, and i dont see a reason to forget how you feel. once again i apologize, im just typing. ::: posted by Eddie at 1:14 AM the phenox kept its eye on the prize; ready, willing, and soaring to the one in need. but its time drew nigh. as its wings dinamically shifted the wind to keep in afloat in the sky, its ashes fell from its feathers, and the bird never made it. its ashes got caught with its caution - in the wind. and this bird cannot come back together anymore, its material is spread across the land. rest in peace my pet, im sorry you died. ::: posted by Eddie at 12:46 AM when fishing for thank yous, are you really doing it for them, or is it more for yourself? in a world where everyone wants to be a little helper, they must realize that its not about getting a thank you or a high five, its about feeling good for the deed done. if you get one, yay for you, but if not, who gives a shit. in return, i did a deed, and i did not get thanked, so really, your a fucking hypocrite. ::: posted by Eddie at 10:13 PM have you ever looked at the trees and thought to yourself, "the branches look like the vains rushing through my heart"? im not sure why i thought that when look at you; glasses full of tears and them falling down to your lips, salting the the wounds along the way, i wonder what i could possibly do to make you feel better. my only answer would be to make it easy for you, and take it as a break up and leave. but i fight it i wanted to kiss you, but would that have helped? your moral standard comes from higher ground, and im sorry im not on top of the hill helping. i dont know what to say, i really dont sometimes. i can try and fight, and i can try and say that if you let it drop here we will never know if it gets better or not. cliche i know, but isnt it true? i got you a christmas present i can no longer give to you, because wheni think about it, it almost makes me want to cry, and i cant do that to you. ::: posted by Eddie at 12:48 PM a quick bloodshot gut wrench - changing the tide. worn in trail proving worthy in the past life long partners - confenscating the laughs of children. you shall be missed. ::: posted by Eddie at 2:10 AM heh, your right i do hold back ::: posted by Eddie at 2:04 AM as i moved the bishop i was already contemplating my next move. the old man in front of me hesitated; maybe i did something right? alas, he steadied his hand and thwarted my every attempt. how to beat an old man.... he always seemd to know my plan. we played for hours - countless games in the courtyard. the trees around us aged as the seasons passed us by. i began to look like the man across from me; aged and wearing it well. to beat an old man.... i guess really you have to wonder, (how do you beat an astronomical deal of experience?). you can search every nook and cranny, but what is the use? the answer is there, in front of you. you know it. to beat an old man? you simply dont. you prosper, steady, strong, and ready. you dont beat the man you become, you live to meet those expectatoins, those ideals, that character. to beat an old man.... ::: posted by Eddie at 2:16 AM |
