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first off i just want you to know that im not trying to pick you apart. we all go on the defensive. but one thing i do stand with is the attatchment accusation. but you have to understand that instead of always watching you go through the same kinds of troubles, why not point it out to you so you dont keep on hurting. if you want to just hang out, lets do it, just dont keep striving for what you know isnt there. im sorry ::: posted by Eddie at 4:33 PM ever since ive been gone, nothing has been the same. i cant focus, i cant procede, i cant manage. im starting to lose it all, depart from what i have. thats what it seems like anyway. im not as in touch with anyone anymore, im not like how i used to be, im losing my grip. its come down to where i just sit in my room, pondering, doodling, and the usual antics of my normal lazyness. the only time i start to feel alive, is sadly, when im working on homework. the only thing ive been looking forward to is graduating. after that though, what is next? i dont even know. i have no plans, i have no idea. deep breaths start to feel like a chore. diaphram pulling down with stress. why exactly is everything shit anyway? this isnt me. i used to be more. there was more to what i did on an everyday basis. there used to be something to do at all times. now im never sure what is what, where to go, what to do. god fuck it all. i need a huge break from everything, everyone, from time. since ive left, ive lost myself. ::: posted by Eddie at 3:54 PM a hostility burns inside you like a torturous flame. and within i can tell that your fist is still clenched, waiting for the kenitic energy to drive it to the follow through, thrusting itself forward. its sad that this hostility has made us grow apart. respectfully, im tired. for some reason the grudge is held, againsed me, as i keep steping back to avoid anger and dispute. but now i must stand on a soap box just to say "stop". its not enough ::: posted by Eddie at 10:18 PM |
