early when the light shines dimly through the blinds, i tightly shut my eyes to keep the dream flowing. living the fantasy of what i desire. but i can never seem to get it back. the dream fades back, even lost in memory, because i always forget. but i squeeze them shut tighter, hoping to get it back, i give up, its noon. i should get up.
scotts return - thursday
ariels return - sunday
::: posted by Eddie at 2:41 PM
shit!!!!!!!
::: posted by Eddie at 12:33 AM
im sick of everyone reminding not only me, but EVERYONE ELSE how i did so shitty in school this year. how i just might end up being a senior twice.
with this note i would like to thank my mom for NOT helping me out with summer school.
scotts return - monday
ariels return - july 6th
::: posted by Eddie at 12:14 AM
scotts return - monday
ariels return - july 6th
::: posted by Eddie at 8:46 PM
last night i looked up, and my concentration stuck onto a few stars, sparadically laid about in the sky. in this brief moment, a smile glanced over my face. my heart beated and pumped, filling my vains with this sweet serenity.
(the more i think about ariel, the more i start to realize what ive found in her. i remember once, she asked me what i liked about her, and i didnt feel i gave enough to suit the answer. i sat back in my room, and i came to the thought of how we are on the same wavelength with many things. the way she thinks of choices, the way of the staight edge, having fun but being able to be calm. but being able to be level to level with ariel on thoughts such as my own, is incredible. and its something that i always look for in girls.)
i stopped and realized that im carrying a toy gun in the middle of the night, and im running through a sneeking mission with adam. the night was young
scotts return - monday
ariels return - july 6th
::: posted by Eddie at 7:22 PM
i find it hilarious - all my friends i used to talk to back in the day who are about 15 now, and living it up....toking it up with my brother of 21. i laugh at their shitty shitty choices. specially because, my brother is shity shitty person......i didnt have nothing to post and that was something....
scotts return - 5 days
ariels return - 13 days
::: posted by Eddie at 5:13 PM
if i dont escape soon, i will go insane, i need something to do to get my mind of of all this silly crap.
scotts return - 8 days
ariels return - 16 days
::: posted by Eddie at 8:20 PM
sitting in my room, i wait for his return. i have so much i want to tlak to him with. i miss him while hes gone. i dont want to just stand back and wait for him, because i know hes beating himself up. waiting for a chance to vent. i hope he still knows that im here for him, at anytime he needs it.
i miss the girl with cold hands. when things started to feel so good with her, she leaves. but i hope that when she stares up into the nights sky, she will count the stars and wonder if im doing the same
scotts return - 9 days
ariels return - 17 days
::: posted by Eddie at 4:43 PM
i feel terrible.
i cant seem to make any positive connections with my own family. only my father. everything my mom says just pisses me off, and i cant stand my own brother. this environment is just glum and shitty.
i feel horrible.
we talked up this whole double dating funness a bit, and i know all the stuff thats left unsaid. things that will demolish your heart and leave you dead once again.
but i feel damn good.
snuggled up in the cove of your neck feeling complete comfort. hanging out and feeling what i miss so much. loving once again.
im really fucking tired.
::: posted by Eddie at 6:14 PM
we layed there in the sand with the placid lake bearly making a noise. the moon lit up the end of the sky where the sunset couldnt shine. we counted them remember? 11 there was, shineing dimly in the pale sky. you asked me once, if what i felt was the catalyst of my actoins, and i feel comfortable enough to say that what i feel is not facesious. (sorry i cant spell that word) im taking my time, but lets not go to slow.
::: posted by Eddie at 9:50 PM
searching through an old folder, i came upon old writing. i figured i would play with its thought.
sweat beads trickle down my face, im running fast. my breath is running short. but i strive to make it to where the pitter patter leads. things said, feelings known, all directing me to the path i must take.
but i stopped
a fork in the road. my head turned fast back. it seemed as if the the trees and foliage were closing up behind me.
i had to think fast
two trails lay before me. the first path could consist of the same tragic romanasim, filled with gleeful fun but no connectoins, or i could just stop and look at actually possibilities. things that are fun and would work.
lets see where i get lead to from here
::: posted by Eddie at 2:10 PM
i got jeleous :(
::: posted by Eddie at 12:20 AM
its when you say these things that i wonder what if. what if you werent taken? what if i dominated the distance factor? tell me.....please
::: posted by Eddie at 10:17 PM
