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at this moment, i feel happy but sad. something is bothering me, but im not exactly sure. it all seems to be going swell, but something seems wrong at the same time. dont ya just hate it when that shit happens!? ::: posted by Eddie at 9:28 PM ok i would just like to talk of the bustle of my last post. i was just stating that i dont think that people should go on a "journy" to find "love" sure you can try and make "love" happen through a close relationship, but i think love is just something that you feel happen. i could explain much better in person with a good conversation. and if you fellow bloggers would care to get more in depth call me at 894-1471 GOOD DAY ::: posted by Eddie at 9:46 PM man the show last night at the palmer hall was great! the line-up was extreamly well. rockin in the pit, with scott pushing when there is no music, i felt so alive. all the drunk ass people trying to knock me over as the just fell back anyway, unable to stand on there own feet. the only nband i didnt watch was dirt E twat. they didnt seem any good anyway. also the stupid asses from agonys end were being stupid fucks as usual, trying to fuck up the sky davis set. but thats when nathen took him outside and made the guy scared out of his britches. man what a glorious night. quick thought i was reading a fellow blog in this small community thta we have, and it seemed to me that this person is in a confusion with "love." she did let the old problems go but it seemed to me that she is just looking for some new keen guy. but hear is a question...should you LOOK for love? ::: posted by Eddie at 3:21 PM dear LeeAnn, i thought of us today. remember the night. the waves crashing on the shore, holding each other comfortingly under the nights sky, under the stars. we talked of everything that night. and that is when you talked of "us." why the fuck did you leave me alone to die in the corner and leave for some "new guy"! you always talked uf me and you being together. they the hell did you let it slip?! i cant deal with you anymore. for so long you dragged me on this emotional trail of tears. and now im letting you go. letting all of this go. it took me a while to get over you, but now i dont think its that hard. your a changed person, one i hate. so good-bye LeeAnn, the girl i used to know, maybe some day youll return, but now im letting YOU go. with love, edward ::: posted by Eddie at 10:39 PM i didtn know i was some pawn in some game. they sent me in, and i thought that i was there to force the attacks. i charged throught the city, and stopped many of those alien bastards. and then i came up to the alien commander. it was lance! i coujldnt believe it. i watched him die back in the alien wars. but it turns out that he fused with them. became one with the sole enemy we tried to fight off for years and years. he vanished, leaving me only to ponder what the hell is going on. he remember him trying to tell me something when he died. something that started to sound like we are being used... i dont know....i made it my only thought to hunt him back down. there was something fishy going on. we headed to this underwater base. yet agian i was ambushed but some mutated fish thing, with a human head. the alien wars never seemed to get this bad. but still i trudged on. i finally caught up with lance again. he lunged an all out assault! after i thought it was over, he changed form. after about 4 mutations, it seemed to be over. but one thing was left behind. the thought of what was going on. the thought of the shatterd soldier.... SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!! ::: posted by Eddie at 9:33 PM today, standing there right next to you, i just wanted to sing you a song. not the plain ol' happy bday song, but sing a song that means more than your getting old. well it would have been odd to sing it in front of him but ah well. today you said, and i quote, "i just felt like everybody was staring at me." think of it like this though. your like a bran new firebolt racing broom. perfect for that great quiditch match againsed slytherin. everybody is just staring into the window staring at this broom, amazed by its beauty. so to make it clear i guess, if your embarassed by being gawked at by the people, dont be, your very beautiful. dance like a robot with a huge rail gun that shoots out lazer bullets!! ::: posted by Eddie at 11:38 PM HOLY COW! HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS ROCKED MY HOUSE ELF!! i got so excited that i started ejaculating and it shot right on this one guys head in front of me. god it was so great. some of it even got in the popcorn. im glad i didnt eat any when movie started. BUT MY BROTHER SURE DID!! MUH HA HA HA HAR! god i am such a geek ass nerd and i feel like dancing!!! ::: posted by Eddie at 10:27 AM when i first joined into this new world, i didnt know what to expect. but still, all of you took me under your wings. you lifted me to sites i could never see all alone. you made me feel comfortable. some people say the phrase "parting is of such sweet sorrow", but how can this parting be sweet? (how can sorry be sweet thinking of that) the times that i shared with all of you were gracious. i know that today wasnt a great day, for we lost what we came to see. and today was the last day id see any of you. the last day we could share the same moments. some will be there next time around, but some ill prolly never see again. there is one thing though. i didnt feel like i lived to the potential of what i could do for you people. for everyone. and i hope that the ones that leave me today, will visit me again some day. maybe it will all come back again. when i first joined in this, i never thought i would end up missing you all.... ::: posted by Eddie at 9:32 PM ya know, i was never one to go blindly into some kind of catastraphe like love. ive always felt like it should be analyzed, and taken with caution. someone asked me today if i ever wanted to "hook up" with this one girl. i told this person that i never really got a chance to get to know her very well on my own. sometimes its just to hard. but sometimes when you try so hard, and then finally succede, it feels the best. but one thing i dont understand is, if it is all that great, if there really is a strong commitment, then why do we just throw it away so easily? and anotyher thing i dont get is that some people dont even care enough to try. WELL FUCK THAT SHIT MOTHA BUSTA! ::: posted by Eddie at 1:05 AM i used to think that i could just lett all this go. let the pain just release itself. but as time progressed, i noticed it only got worse. my emotions for you were too strong. as i saw you two, i would always stray my eyes away. i couldnt stand too see anything of the sort. but one day it all turned in a different direction. i figured out one day that you let that other guy go only to see another. but it wasnt me. and thats what i wondered about. it seemed to me that you just went straight for the material relationship. you always used to tell me that if the first guy wasnt in the picture, then i would be there. we would be there. you always used to tell me that you loved me as i loved you. very strongly. but when you went for the materials, you shot me on the way. i fall... ::: posted by Eddie at 7:46 PM today it seemed like we breached a new level of emotion. i felt a little more open and you just seemed excitingly happy. well its like i dont always see you smiling. but your smile is just what i need to get through the night. you in your entirety is a beauty for all eyes. i sure hope that we meet up some day and have on sunny glorious grand super duper stupendous totally tubular rocking disco dancing fun day! OR WHATEVER!!!??@? ::: posted by Eddie at 11:42 PM im just waiting for saterday. im hoping that some kind of confrentation will be met about the emotions that i feel. i wonder exactly how you feel. i wonder what will happen... ::: posted by Eddie at 6:02 PM i was quite supprised that you got my sn. but its realy nifty. hey im not bickerin. its keen. i wonder how you got it but i just dont feel like asking. but hey, im not sure if im the only one thats noticed this but, there is some kind of connection between the two of us. but once again im not complaining. the only thing i worry about is all my mixed emotions. man are those a hassle. ::: posted by Eddie at 9:04 PM THE COMMENTS WORK! ::: posted by Eddie at 12:21 AM today it felt like something came back. an emotion that i missed so much from the past. actually, it happend twice today. first, you said that you missed me and you wanted to see me agian. my heart was about to explode. it was something ive been thinking of for a long time. just you and me. i miss those days, and i always miss you. maybe thats why im such a reck at times. but always, ive been chasing you. and always will i love you.
::: posted by Eddie at 11:21 PM my mixed emotions are like a recipe for my own death. i puzzled around with many thoughts that ive had. but there is one thing i know for sure...your "lost love" is like a bullet. the bullet that was the final petite ingredient to the same recipe.... ::: posted by Eddie at 1:09 AM it was exciting to see you arrive there. although you prolly werent as thrilled to see me as you were him. but all in all, it was still extatic. im glad that you pursure your chance to be happy, and happy you deserve to be. im always filled wiht more happyness to see you smile. so just keep doing so, and maybe we will both be fine. live well, and take showers.......ok i dont konw what that last line was............??.......... ::: posted by Eddie at 2:25 AM this is it. this is the very end of my own emotional existance. i think that im breaking down. there is something bothering me and im not sure what it is. but i feel it. i feel it down in my diaphram, like a breath that is waiting to exhale (ha thats that stupid whitney housten movie. har har har). i think about everything. nobody really notices im heavily botherd by something. but id rather not have everyone hound me down and try to make it better. this is my problem, and this will be my solution. and sorry that there is errors on my page. i keep messing up my comments page. email me for now. sorry kids ::: posted by Eddie at 10:22 PM i called you and you just didnt seem yourself today. i was hoping that it just wasnt you getting sick of me, or just hating me. im very hoping for next saterday. lets just hope it goes well. im doing that anyway. it could be fun. or it could be a desaster. who knows, lets just go and strive to make it great.\ ps the links work now ::: posted by Eddie at 9:44 PM the cop sirens were wailing. i knew they were coming for me. i was in the middle of chasing down that bitch so i could get my name clear. the columbian cartel were waiting for me, perched with there guns, waiting behind the trucks. i had to break through them all. i pulled out the cab driver and started rushing down the dam. two columbians flew off my hood like rag dolls. the car couldnt take much more. diving behind the boxes i readied my rifle. popping up i shot one man down from the tower. a truck started screatching towards me. it barely missed me. the helecopter was about to scram. the truck was spining back my way. i hurried up the stairs, and two men with bazookas were up there. wipping my machine gun from my back, i shot them both down. i had nothing to lose but my own life, but i dont think i cared. the helecopter was in the air. i reached down for the bazooka, aimed, and pulled the trigger. BLAM! the peices of the chopper scattered everywhere. i walked off. i dont even think anyone rememberd anything about me. fuck all this......... (the links are still all messed up. ill be fixing that tomarrow) ::: posted by Eddie at 3:14 PM oh and just for you people, the links on the side dont work. something is messing up. STAY TUNED! ::: posted by Eddie at 11:59 PM frustration. i dont think i can handle anything right now. everything has thrown me into a catastophe of my own thoughts. these same thoughts will probably be what will slay me and spew my blood everywich way. the footprints trailing away from it will be yours. i wonder what happend between us. my feelings for you are still there, and i wonder if you feel anything. anything at all. what if i brought everything up into subject? do you think everything will be cleared up? i think it will only get worse. i hate this. i think im going to go play in the traffic, maybe it could be fun......... ::: posted by Eddie at 11:07 PM the night's air was dreary. the trees were hanging down like cold dead fingers reaching for us. walking towards the graves, you could just imagine the horrific screems of the old mans victim. they way he brutally murderd her, making her blood flail around like a sprinkler on a summers day. the rocking chair that sat in the house was all i wanted to see. i just wanted to sit in the bloodbath. going deeper we saw some more chairs just sitting there. the two chairs were staring off into nothing but the deeper of the forest. it was like they were there for some perpose. but what? it was getting cold. the houses down the path were still all lit up. the caretaker would probably come chasing after us if he saw us and shoot us down. the graves around us were creepy. all the shadows casted by the limbs of the trees made it look as if the dead would come out to play. all together it was just cold and dead............ ::: posted by Eddie at 3:06 AM already i hear people talking of GTA vice city NON-STOP! yes, it is prolly a really good game, but its just flat out anoyying. i just want to rent socom. ive been waiting forever to play that. yes its just a gamer thing.... ::: posted by Eddie at 1:09 PM ya know, sometimes i dont know what is going on with anything. so much i feel like ive figured, or just realized or something. i dont know. all the emotions i know right now, well lets just say i dont really know them. maybe someday things will change for the better instead of worst. im doubting that will happen, but ill always hope. sometimes a jelousy sprouts inside me, and i dont know how to deal with it. and sometimes, i just wish i was the one giving the hug, show you that i care as well........maybe everything should just stay the same? but if it stayed the same, life would be boring. if we didnt have conflict and problems, life would be something i wanted to pass in a hurry. but for now, i like how things are turning out. so for now i guess just scrump it, ill just let it pass by like i always do.......but i dont think i could handle it. ::: posted by Eddie at 12:55 AM |
