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time savors its moments as my thoughts race to reach my hand. cold steel warms at my grip as i look unto the crowd in front of me. they are marching where we my feet stand ready i do not know, but i place them firm to the earth. a second hand is placed to steady. leaping in standing alone the fight surrounds me; a world consumed by corruption and hate. converging one prayer leaves my lips as i swing one arc to the heavens. shadows cast their many woes upon me but vigilance is required. in order to face these demons ill need to be patient - strike only when right. to find the light one must best the darkness, but alone we are not enough. God and his men will be my salvation - and it is with them we will face these days. for we are nothing without hope. ::: posted by Eddie at 1:12 AM the past in an effort to forget and forgive, you always find the connection. disappointment renders the body useless as i wonder what i could have done better. the past it creates us; molds us into the form heading for the kiln. its there that we become strong and sturdy the past is it worth leaving there? well yes. regardless of anything, its there for a reason, and with it there we can pursue the present we have. to be limited by experiences is only to be reminded of how you just werent good enough yet. now im here with the change; the ability to know what has been done and fight the sad state it was all left in. however we may feel about the old efforts, they only exist to give you a fight for your future and its there we make our stay ::: posted by Eddie at 1:54 AM the lights from the bridges light up the soothing flow of water resting its head on the steps where we stood. memories will fill this book as i place a knee on solid ground. two tears fall - of course - and then my life begins. ::: posted by Eddie at 4:16 AM i believe that if you believe, you better be able to back that with reasoning. if you are so quick to judge, if you are so quick to pursue, if you are so quick to be naive, then i believe you to be a fool. i will fully admit my faults, i will admit that i have no position in the matter, but i will tell you this - if i were to engage in what i believe in, you better believe that i will back that with reasoning. you have to, yo must what is all the point to ramble about things if you dont have a reason, you dont have an answer to why you are locked into your position? why get so charismatic over something you dont have a true stance one? why be on the offensive with absolutely not defence? i suppose ill never quite understand this fair weather, but ill always understand why it makes me so angry ::: posted by Eddie at 3:52 AM i think my biggest problem is that i feel consistantly unprepared. whatever it is that i attempt, i think i construct some kind of astronomical object that staggers its way in my path. nothing really big, but i do indeed tend to let it oppose me. i know that im all set to go, but some odd feeling keeps holding me back. i could be scared, intimidated, afraid of committing to a final decision; but sometimes i know i need a push. a swift shove in a general direction somewhere; whether to oppose or accept, it doesnt matter so long as i take a step i suppose. im beggining to see that sometimes i just need to be a little risky. do some business. just take some kind of action. you cant stay idle and expect someone to guide you along, your old enough now right? but before we go too into this, please keep in mind children that this is not school, this is not work, this is not some stupid shit that you commonly bitch about. its just general things. any decision is met with a procrastination of doubting myself. i think i just like to be absolutely sure before going in; im no risk taker like before. ill tell you what though, my next endeaver, im sure its right. i believe it with every fiber inside. (but why am i still waiting for a go-ahead?) it will happen, ill make sure of it, but lord only knows when. ::: posted by Eddie at 2:50 AM im tired - soo tired my throat plays victim to my anger as i scream heavily at the people that arent there; angrily awaiting the day ill snap. my brow is low, my breathing deep, my blood in the kettle a battle persay not so much afoot on enemy territory. perhaps ive lost it, fed it to the wolves; hungry beasts bathing in the moon as hunting sillouettes, waiting for their chance to ruin themselves in their war up the chain. perhaps i need to get away. ::: posted by Eddie at 2:17 PM its been rough. i could bitch all i want about shit, but things are just too great. ::: posted by Eddie at 12:34 PM |